Resonance

Resonance is about "aliveness". You can notice it in the ebb and flow in someone’s voice and the manner in which they are speaking and presenting themselves. It signifies where someone’s heart comes closer to the surface and they are more connected to life – to what is real for them.

Resonance can show up as excitement, deep satisfaction, joy AND if can show up as tenderness, sorrow, anger, frustration, determination and so on. A person can be very alive in grief as well as joy.

So how do we, who are listening and observing someone, notice when resonance may be happening? Well, we can notice a change in someone’s volume in their voice, or by intonation, or the cadence of their words. If you can see the person, you can also notice facial expressions and body language. Tears are often a sign of resonance and even when you can’t see tears, you can “hear” them in someone’s voice.

When it comes to noticing Resonance, the actual topic of conversation doesn’t need to be serious or heavy for the heart to show up. You can see Resonance in watching someone talk about planting flowers in your garden, watching the game on the weekend, or dealing with a stressful situation at work. It doesn’t matter what the surface topic is; what matters is noticing where the heart is showing up. 

As we practice the skill of listening for resonance, we will refrain from making a story up about what is happening. Our job is not to assume that we know what the resonance means. We will let the person assign meaning to their own experience. Our role in listening is to simply notice what is happening to their voice and expression and to reflect that back to them.